Life altering decision to be made.

I've been struggling these last few months trying to make up my mind, trying to figure out what to do with my life, and the decisions that I have to face head on, and the ramifications of the choices that I have to make.

Why I say this, is because I've been struggling with a certain person in my life whom's put a road block in my way.  I've come to the rashionale that my life's not this cookie cutter perfect life.  I've got struggles, obsticles, and have dealt with things head on and have gotten completely no where.  I've seeked to get help and advice from outside sources, which in turn, is great, but yet that's not really helping with this process.  Yes, I still struggle with the same old things day in and day out. 

This person claims that they want to change, that they're in it for the long haul, they wanna make things right, they wanna become a better person, but yet, based on past experiences and behaviors I'm not sure that I can trust this person.  Whom can believe in someone when they've only been know for their lies and manipulations?  How can I trust you, when you've created this lifestyle for yourself, and the only thing I have to go off of is the past?   I'm just not sure that there's enough glue in the glue stick to put these torn up pieces back together again.

They seem to think that this is just a one-time fix, and that things will be all good for a while, and then u go back to your old ways?  Really, I don't think that's the case.  You need to realize that these changes that have to be made are for life, they have to be for good, or I'm not going to stick around.

My life is really unhappy, unsettling, and things are just not good.  What's a girl to do?

I've made my fair share of mistakes along the way, I've done things I've probably shouldn't have done, and I have problems in my life, but dang it, it's time for me to start focusing on me.  I need to take care of myself, my life, and my children.  I need to be HAPPY!  Maybe it's selfish, maybe it's onesided, maybe I'm only thinking of me and taking care of me, but if I don't take care of myself, then there's really no need for this mess.

I'm not able to keep living this lie, and living a life that's unhealthy. I need to make my mind up, and my decisions on what I want to do.  There's more to life than this isn't there?  The grass is greener on the other side, and opportunities are there for me to pursue.  Knowing in time that I've gotta face this choice head on, make the right one, and make one that I can live with is going to be the challenge for me. 

I hate failure, I hate not knowing the future, but yet maybe my future would be much brighter if I let go of all this hurt, resentment, and hate for this one thing in my life, and actually let in a little sunshine, and happiness into my life, and into my days.

I don't know where I'm going, or what my future is yet, but I've gotta give it my all, make a decision carry on and make my dreams a reality.  If it's on my own, and I'm going down that road, then I'll hang on tight for the rest of my days, and walk along that road, and carry on with my life the best way I know how.

The end of an erra

Well, today I heard some news that sadden me. I'll be having to say Good-bye to a piece of my life that's been with me for the last 31 years. I've had alot of great memories of this thing, and yet as of now, it's a bitter sweet moment for me.

I'm going to miss this place, the great times that I've had with family and friends, the weekend getaways, and the nice time that's been had by several people in my life. I understand the reasoning behind all of this that's got to happen, but yet in the end it's hard to say goodbye to something that's been apart of your life for so long.

With that being said, I'm honored to have had it apart of my life so long, I'm truely blessed that it's been a keepsake in my family for the years that it has been. It was truly a place that brought my family together for years, and kept us all intouch with everyone. However life changes things happen, and we can't hold onto things for forever.

So this road in my life has finally gotten it's dead end and we've got to turn around and follow this new path that my life is going to be bringing to me.

So, goodbye sweet memories, you will be missed, but never forgotten, and you've made memories for me to last the rest of my lifetime here.

Thank you, and I'm so grateful to you and others for the wonderful experience you've put in my life.

80 yes or no questions its fun

80 yes or no questions its fun

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks!

Now, here's what you're supposed to do. . . And please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers.

80 questions...answer them all!

Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --Yes
Been arrested? --- No
Been in a fight? --- Yes
Fallen fast for someone? -- Yes
Regretted a relationship? -- Yes
Been in a tornado? --- no
Stayed in bed all day? --- no
Kissed someone you didn't like? -- Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? --No
Fallen asleep at work/school? No
Held a snake? No
Ran a red light? Yes
Been suspended from school? No
Experienced love at first sight? No
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? No
Been fired from a job? Yes
Fired somebody? No
Sang karaoke? Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Swam in the ocean? No
Been to a concert? Yes
Laughed till you cried? Yes
Kissed on the first date? Yes
Had a close brush with death (your own)? Yes
Seen someone die? Yes
Played spin-the-bottle? No
Sang in the shower? Yes
Smoked a cigar? No
Sat on a rooftop? Yes
Smuggled something into another country? No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? No
Broken a bone? No
Skipped school? Yes
Got a speeding ticket? No
Eaten a bug? Yes
Sleepwalked? No
Walked a moonlit beach? No
Rode a motorcycle? No
Dumped someone? Yes
Seen a baby born? No
Lied to avoid a ticket? No
Ridden in a helicopter? No
Shaved your head? No
Played a prank on someone? No
Hit a home run? Yes
Felt like killing someone? No
Cross-dressed? No
Been falling-down drunk? No
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes
Eaten snake? No
Marched/Protested? No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No
Puked on an amusement ride? No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? No
Been in a band? Yes
Knitted or crocheted? Yes
Been on TV? Yes
Shot a gun? Yes
Skinny-dipped? Yes
Gave someone stitches? Yes
Eaten whole habenero pepper? No
Ridden a surfboard? No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? Yes
Had surgery? Yes
Streaked? No
Taken by ambulance to hospital? No
Passed out when not drinking? No
Peed on a bush? Yes
Donated Blood? Yes
Grabbed an electric fence? No
Eaten alligator meat? No
Eaten cheesecake? Yes
Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? Yes
Peed your pants in public? No
Snuck into a movie without paying? No
Written graffiti? No
Still love someone you shouldn't? No
Think about the future? Yes
Been in handcuffs? No
Believe in love? Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes

Thankful Thursdays

I have gotten the idea from a prior person I know who blogs. They have been starting a tradtion to post things that they are thankful for on every Thursday. So, I thought I would give it a try, and post things that I am thankful for. With this one being my first, we will see how long I keep up this tradition.

Here are the things that I am Thankful for. They are the following:

- The fact that I've not had to get up and run to the restroom 100 times per day, thanks to Baby Carr..

- That I was able to get a some what normal nights sleep, and that my kido didn't eventually show up in my bed until 3:30 a.m.

- That my husband did do the chores that I had asked, and they were completed by the time I got home from work.

- That I have such wonderful people in my life to share in my daily experiences weather they are good or bad ones.

What I learned in January

I have learned that Austin can use the potty on command #1 that is, and is doing quite well with #2, it's a little slower going, but we making good progress.

I learned that when the hubby does a chore, it takes him several days to complete one simple thing. I.E. (Laundry)

I have learned that Austin's speech has really increased over the last few months. His vocab has really come along quite well. His new favorite word for fruit snack is Scooby soo. i.e. Scooby Doo fruit snack.

I learned that not everyone in my life makes wise decisions. But, hopefully they learn from their mistakes, take away the positives from it, and move on forwards with their life, and continue down a new road to another adventure.

I learned that I need to become a better cook, and start making more home made meals instead of stopping out for supper all the time. I just need the time to take to plan for it.

I learned that not getting everything done in one day is an okay thing, because there's always tomorrow to finish it.

Five things about me

1. I am a reality TV junkie.. Yeah, okay, so I like to watch a little t.v. I'm into the Biggest Looser, and the Bachelor. Why these two? I like watching the biggest looser primarily for the success stories that come out in the end, and to watch people who have struggled all their lives succeed at something that's always been a battle for them. It's inspiring to me, to help me watch what I eat, so I don't end up like they were some day. The Bachelor's a new one for me this year. I don't know why, or even how I got started on this show. The guy's cute but really a door knob when it comes to picking that right one.. Maybe I should stop watching that, and move onto something else.

2. I am expecting baby #2 this year. My life as a mother has had plenty of it's up and downs. But at the end of the day, all those problems are nothing when you look at that little precious thing, and see such beautiful results.. It makes being a mom so worth it, and I can't wait to take on baby #2 in June.

3. I hate jalapeno peppers. Spicy girl, I am NOT. If it's hot, or has any kind a zip to it, you can count me out. My husband has been trying to get me to expand my tastes, but these, ugh, I just can't do it.

4. I have never broken a bone. No brakes, only a sprain thank goodness..

5. I have moved 3 times. Moved from Maplewood, to Golden Valley, to Coon Rapids which is where I resided now with my Husband and Son, and soon to be little one..

Good luck my Friend

I get a call from my friend yesterday, and I try to provide support to them, and hopefully help persuade them to make the right decisions.

They currently fear the worst for their life is ending near, and no hope is possible for them. You provide your words of wisdom, and you try to encourage them to not give up, and to keep succeeding.

They fear everyone is against them, and not for them.

They can’t find the right road or path to take, but yet you suggest solutions and or alternative that may help them through this tough time.

They think taking the easy way out is the only solution for them. They want to get up and leave the state, thinking that’s their only resort for them. When really, it’s not, and there is life here for them right where they are. They just need to open their eyes.

They need to take on the responsibility of being an adult, help their child live the best life possible, and take on responsibility as living a life as an individual.

I know they can do it, if they were only to try, and succeed at what they are good at, they could make a positive life for themselves.

Knowing that they can do it, would then prove to their family that they are capable of doing most things and that they do not have to reliant on their family for support, and help to live their life normally.

I hope they only choose the right path to go down, and that they realize that their family, friends, and loved ones are here for them. If they would turn to the Lord, and ask for his guidance, he would put them on the appropriate road to live their life happily.

Will my words help them make that right choice, or will my words be shot down, and not listened to? Only time will tell!

Good Luck my Friend..