Lying, is it really worth it?

11 years of being together and just like a snap of the fingers, the commitment, honesty and trust were thrown out the window this past weekend. When I confronted my hubby with a true genuine question, it was then followed up by a response that’s a complete and utter lie.

I simply asked the hubby if he had to work on Saturday, or if he was going to be around so we could have a family day together. His response was that he was going to have to “work”. I said, “From what time”, he said, “from 10a.m. – 2:00 p.m”. It seemed strange to me that he was starting later in the day and not at his usual 6:00 a.m. time. He then followed up to say that the guys at the office didn’t want to get up early, so they are starting later. That right there should have sent up my red flag, but it didn’t. I though, ok, whatever, it’s work, it’s a strange schedule on the weekends, and so I bought it.

I now have to figure out what Austin and I are going to do with this time that we have together without Brent, and try to find something to do. We decide that were going to go to the park, and play outside, since it was such a nice day out. I abruptly get this phone call around 10ish, asking for Brent. I said, he’s at work. The gentleman on the other line said, at work? I said yes. I thought to myself, something’s fishy here. I wonder if Brent’s really working today, or if he’s off doing something else instead.

Sure enough, 2p.m. rolls around, and no hubby, he doesn’t get home till 3. He’s then redder then a cherry tomato and I said to him, you weren’t at work today, were you? He said, no, I went golfing instead. I was like, so you flat out lied to me about today. He’s like yes, I did, because he’s said if I told you the truth, you wouldn’t let me go golfing. I said, wouldn’t let you? If you would have been upfront and honest with me in the beginning, I would have maybe said I wasn’t happy about it, but I wouldn’t have said you couldn’t go.

So, instead of him spending time with his wife and child on Saturday, he totally neglected us, and decided to be utterly selfish and only think of himself and nothing more. He said to me he was sorry about what he did, but sorry to me just didn’t cut it. He went too far with this, and I don’t take being lied to well especially when it’s from my own husband.

My question now is, how can I regain his trust, how and when will I know when he’s telling me the truth, or will he never tell the truth again? Will our lives be based upon lies, or can we get past this and can I re-trust my husband again? I think it’s going to take time for this wound to heal, and time for me to heal as a person and for Brent to learn to start being honest and loyal to me again before our lives can change.

So, I have learned that telling a lie is not a good thing, you should always be honest, as the lie is always going to come and bite you in the ass in the end.

Stubborn Husband.. What's a girl to do...

Okay, so here I am. I am a wife, mother, work full time and I am trying to juggle my busy life’s schedule. I work 4 - 10 hour days. I get up at 5:00 a.m. and I don’t get home until 6:30 p.m. I then have to make supper, give Austin his bath, find time to spend with both of my son, and my husband before it’s time to go to bed by 9:30-10:00p.m. (I know, boring life isn’t it)

My so called “Day off” is consumed with and by my Son, Austin. I am so fortunate that I have a day all to my son, and enjoy every second of it. We have his a.m. school teacher from about 10:00 -11:00 a.m. and then in the evening we have school from 6:00-7:30 p.m. During our free time on Monday’s, I try to entertain him as much as I can, and try to get things done around my house that I need to get done. So, when I get Austin down for his nap, I try to clean as much as I can, so I don’t have to do it during the rest of the week. Inevitability, I can’t do everything, so of course I feel like I don’t get much accomplished during the week. But, I can’t be so hard on myself, because I have tried to do as much as I can, and that’s all I can do.

I struggle to keep my house neat/clean/and tidy as much as I can, but with feeling like I am the only one doing anything around the house, it’s really hard. I feel I get hardly any help doing the simple things, and the things that need to be done on a daily routine basis. I struggle with my husband to get him to do much of anything, if anything lately. He claims I just complain, because he feels what he does is never good enough, nor up to my standards. I disagree with that. I appreciate what he does do when he does it, but maybe it’s because he doesn’t really ever see to do much without me saying something, and that’s why I feel I am so hard on him for it.

With that being said, I feel he has much more time during the week that he could be helping me around the house, but he doesn’t seem to do much at all. He seems to worry about himself, and the things that make him happy, rather than worry about his family, and helping us out so that we can have time together during the week.

My Husband’s schedule certainly allows him to be more cooperative around the house, and here’s why I say that. He works 5 – 8hr days. He gets up at 5:00 a.m. and gets home at 4:00 p.m. He’s got a total of over 2 ½ hours before we even arrive home Tues-Friday to help with the chores. Instead of him being willing to do something that would consist of work, he rather sit on his x-box 360 and play that stupid thing that rots your brain cells for 2 ½ hours. Okay, I can maybe see taking an hour of that time to yourself, but don’t be freaking bum and not do anything else for the evening. I mean seriously, in reality of it all how hard would it be to take out the garbage, put the dishes away, sweep the floor, dust, or even vacuum the floor??

I have tried making up a chore list, and having him check off what he’s done to show me he can be willing to help, and actually partake in the work efforts with me on a 50/50 basis but, that’s failed. I have asked him for ideas, but he has come up with Zippo. I am out of ideas, out of options. What do I do? Sometimes think to myself that I should just call a cleaning service. HA, that would require money, which I don’t have right now.

I wish to God, that he would be more willing to change his ways, but is that even possible for a man like my husband??

Any advice on this one, I would be willing to take it!!